Relationships

One of my favourite books is called "the Eden Project, in search of the Magical Other" by James Hollis (1). He describes poignantly our desperate search as humans for the Magical Other, our soul-mate who will repair the damage of our personal history, who will read our mind and know what we want without having to tell them, who will meet out deepest needs, be a good parent and protect us from pain and even help us avoid the frightening journey of individuation. Behind this desperation and need lie our family complexes and our reluctance to individuate and relate to an other as an equally separate human being. James Hollis outlines four principles of relationship, 2 of which are:

1.      What we do not know about ourselves or refuse to face in ourselves will be projected onto the other.

2.      We project our childhood wounding, our infantile longings and our own need to individuate onto the other.

So how can psychological astrology help you to take responsibility for what is yours giving you a better chance to have real and fulfilling relationships?

Your birth chart is a symbolic map of your personality outlining your experience of your parents and their relationship or lack of, your family history and complexes which have come down through the generations, your approach to life, your emotional needs, your purpose or vocation in life including your resources and talents as well as your values, your approach to communication and your drive.

For example if there are planets (particularly Uranus, Neptune, Pluto or the asteroid Chiron) in the 4 th and 10 th house of your chart this is an indicator that in dealing with your experience of your parents you are faced with archetypal experiences. This is always more complex than dealing with mere humans. The signs your moon and Venus are in and the aspects they make to other planets are important in helping you to understand your fundamental emotional needs and what you value in life. For example with moon in Gemini you need communication whereas with moon in Pisces you need emotional connection. With Venus in Aries you value adventure and excitement and are likely to enjoy being the pursuer in a relationship. With Venus in Capricorn you value a more traditional approach in courtship.

A consultation can give you the opportunity to understand your patterns in relationship and what they stem from. Knowledge widens choices offering you the possibility of creating more fulfilling and life enhancing relationships. As an analyst once said to me - loving someone does not mean jumping into their boat, it is about paddling your 2 boats side by side. This is only possible if you have your own boat!

(1) Inner City Books Studies in Jungian Psychology pgs 37 & 74